ONE

Dear Sofia, my angel, my sunshine, my sweet doodle bug,

A little less than a year ago, I wrote you a letter telling you about how you were born. Alas, that letter went to the great laptop graveyard in the sky, so I'm writing to you here in the hopes that it won't get lost this time. Also because I don't have a printer.

Last night you kept waking up, which is unusual for you. You didn't seem to want anything except to be held. So we went downstairs and lay down on the couch, you snuggling up on my chest. Your breathing became peaceful and pretty soon there we were, belly to belly, you sound asleep. It's been months since you fell asleep like that. I glanced over at the clock to see that it was -- almost to the minute -- exactly a year since we laid like that, meeting skin to skin for the very first time. I cried then and I cried last night.

You see, Sofia, when you were born and the midwife put you on my chest, I couldn't believe the miracle of you. There you were, this extension of me, this new soul, my heart beating outside my body. I couldn't find words to describe it when I wrote that first letter, and one year later, I still can't find the words.

This last year you've been my little partner in crime, my traveling ray of sunshine. You've trekked to New York, Las Vegas, San Diego and Colorado. You've danced with me and all your bellydance sisters in Anchorage, Fairbanks and Seward. After dumping cell phones in the fireplace, unraveling the TP and eating dog kibble, you've learned the meaning of NO. You can take your shirt off, dance to any rhythm, climb the stairs and make farting noises with your mouth on the sliding glass door.

Through all the tears (yours and mine) and frustration (yours and mine), you've brightened every second of every day for the last year. And even more than that, I watch how every day you can light up the day of a complete stranger with just one smile. I hope you never lose that ability. I hope you never stop dancing. I hope you always love dogs. I hope you remain curious about the world around you. I hope you laugh. I hope your faith never wavers. I hope you always know how loved you are.

Happy first birthday.
Love, Mom