Happy birthday, Little Dude!

Dear Nico, my little dude,
You turned one year old just two days ago. I can't believe a year has gone by since you swam on into this world! Since then, you've completely charmed me with your squishy fat rolls, your amazing belly laugh and your completely disarming, full-face smile.

You're crawling like a maniac, chasing your sister and begging her to chase you. You get into every single thing that you're not supposed to, and have a thing for dog food. You can be entertained for minutes on end by balloons, the washer and dryer, and the vacuum cleaner. You're turning quickly into a rambunctious little boy, and I love it!

When we're out and about you never fail to pick up a new girlfriend. All you have to do is flash that smile, and you're melting hearts left and right.

Time is flying by so quickly, I don't want to forget these little things about you. Like the little curls on the back of your head. That super-duper soft, warm, kissable spot on your neck just behind your ears. How you are the most unbelievably soft, squishy baby to squeeze. And the way you love your sister blows me away. She, out of anyone, can always make you smile and laugh. You love it when she wrestles with you, runs circles around you, even when she puts blue tutus on you...I think that you'll do anything for her, and vice versa.

Yesterday you rode in the grocery cart for the first time instead of in the Ergo, all cuddled up to my belly. While my shoulders were happy, I sure missed my little buddy. As you get older, I'll probably drive you nuts trying to get some snuggle time, so I'm trying to soak it all up now while I can!

Keep on smiling, little dude! I love you so much. Happy birthday!

An honest plea

Stop calling my daughter shy.

I'm astounded by this immediate reaction of perfect strangers to my daughter if she does not respond to their hellos or compliments about her outfit (which is 99% of what she hears from them -- really folks, there's more to my daughter than her cute outfit, but that's an entirely different topic).

She may very well be shy. If that's the case, then you have simply reinforced that idea in her head and made it harder for her the next time someone new approaches her. You may have also planted the seed that her "shyness" is somehow wrong, or socially unacceptable. Guess what? A lot of people are shy, and there isn't one thing wrong with that. Certainly my daughter is learning how to be polite in public, but again, you have made it that much harder by publicly painting her with the shy label.

And maybe my daughter isn't shy. Maybe when you, a total stranger, came up to her and began talking to her, she was tired. Maybe she was hungry. Or maybe she simply wasn't comfortable --as a THREE YEAR OLD -- talking to a complete stranger. But then you had to go and call her shy, again planting seeds in her head that the way she is naturally feeling is wrong and needs to be corrected.

I'm speaking from experience. I was a painfully shy child -- or actually, strike that. I THOUGHT I was painfully shy. And the more people said to me "why don't you smile?" or "why aren't you talking?" or "say something!" or just plain old, "you must just be shy," the more I shrank inside myself and began to believe that yes, I must be shy and there must be something wrong with that, otherwise why are people always telling me to act another way?

I'm adjusting my thinking as an adult. As a professional woman, I can comfortably get up in front of a crowd of people and speak off the cuff or give a prepared presentation -- and enjoy it. I can perform bellydance in front of crowds of people in all sorts of venues. I can teach private lessons or large groups. I can approach other moms in the parks and strike up conversations and friendships. Is that shy? Probably not. Rather, I take my time getting to know people. I prefer to listen rather than speak. I smile when I mean it. I enjoy my own company and don't need to always be around people.

So back to my daughter -- if the traits I just mentioned above are traits I'm passing on to my daughter, than I'm proud. But it took me 30 years to figure this out and stop listening to what other people *think* they know about me, and my daughter has a long way to go. So please, stop calling her shy. Treat her like you would like to be treated, without the labels.

Heart about to burst

Not just once, but at least three times over the last several months, Sofia has told me out of the blue that when she grows up she wants to be a mommy to kids who don't have mommies of their own.

Eight months

It's been eight months (and a few weeks) since my sweet baby boy was born. Eight months filled with seemingly never-ending nights, crying jags, diapersdiapersdiapers, and all those baby-related things that make the days so long and the months/years so short. So how did we get here so quickly? Been busy -- I'll hit the highlights:

We spent Nico's first Christmas in Vegas, and had a ball!

About two weeks after returning home from Vegas, we packed everything up again and caravaned ourselves back down to Vegas. This time, we left the kids with Aunt Lisa and Johnny and I jetted off to Puerto Rico! Hmmm, perhaps I should rename this entire blog "Thank You, Aunt Lisa!" We made the most of our kid-free vacation. Don't get too carried away now, I'm talking about doing things like leaving the hotel room empty handed. Carrying nothing but a purse on the airplane. Having uninterrupted conversations. Showering whenever I felt like it. Sprawling on the beach and not thinking about anything. Having rum for lunch. Having rum for snacks. Having rum for dinner.

That is to say, it was amazing. It was a company trip, and we adored our travel companions. We were treated to amazing dinners, free booze everywhere, an insane beach party complete with fire breathers, rum tasting, live music and fireworks, a waterfall hike, sailing and snorkeling, dancing every night...ah, yes. Can I go back?? We loved sitting out in the warm night air, listening to the coqui frogs chirping. Riding the funicular up and down the sea cliffs, taking the boat out to the resort's private island. Holy smokes, how spoiled are we?

Kids? What's that? Oh right, the kids did just great while we were away.

So, back to Portland and our usual routine. Sofia still adores her preschool, and clearly loves her teachers. She has already decided that she will be a teacher when she grows up. We regularly have yoga and dance "classes" in our living room, and she does a fantastic job of teaching me.

I recently found out that there is a bridal veil included in the costume area at her preschool, which explains this little Sofia gem:

One night several weeks ago, Sofia approached me with an earnest look in her eyes. Very seriously she informed me that she was going to have a baby girl that night, and she needed to get married. She then gently took my face in her hands and told me she was sorry, but she couldn't marry me. She had to marry Daddy because he's a boy.

Have I ever mentioned that she just kills me?

So obviously she's thriving. She knows the words "despondent" and "haberdashery." She can draw smiley faces. She clears her dishes from the table and loves to mop. And yet, she still says things like "a little bip," "schlocate" (chocolate), "free" (three), and so on. Free going on 16.

Nico, of course, changes by the day. Before we left for Puerto Rico, my favorite Nico behaviors were the squeezes he would give me when I picked him up, and the way he would nibble my chin. Anytime he fussed, we could start singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider and it would immediately calm him down (Sofia would sing "the ipsy bipsy spider went up the water sprout!"). Of course, things change quickly. The Itsy Bitsy Spider isn't as magical as it used to be, and he doesn't squeeze me as much anymore. But, the squeezing has been replaced by the best baby belly laughter ever. This is one happy kid!

He's been sitting up on his own for probably about two months now, and you can just see how much he wants to move around on his own. He's trying so, so hard! Yesterday he managed to spin himself in a full circle on his belly, but crawling still appears to be a ways off. But boy, is he talking. We're getting all sorts of bababas, nananas, and (best of all, obviously) dadadas and mamamas!

Although he got off to a bit of a slow start, he's now doing a great job eating just about everything. I'm doing my best to stick with baby foods, but this kiddo clearly wants to eat what we're eating. Is this a boy thing? I don't know. But he is all boy, making crazy faces and, shall we say, aggressive noises. That also could have to do with the SIX teeth that are simultaneously coming in on top!

In personal news, dance is on another upswing. Over the next three months, my troupe, Nagamani, has 4-5 shows booked, I'll be competing as a soloist in La Danse Orientale (which Nagamani won in the troupe category last year), my independent Tuesday evening classes are gaining momentum, and I got to dance onstage in the finale of the Beats Antique concert with Zoe Jakes, a pregnant Mira Betz, Oberon, Henna, Claudia and Aksana. OK, so we were wearing neon green spandex alien bodysuits, but it was still all sorts of awesome! My biggest dance news is that I'll be attending Rachel Brice's 8 Elements Initiation in April, a 5-day intensive. I guess I also need to rename this blog "Thank You Best Husband in the Whole Wide World!"

Life is full, life is good. Of course it's not without its tantrums and mood swings, but all you can do is look at those things and know that they make you appreciate the smiles, the giggles, the snuggles, and the QUIET more than you ever thought possible. Pictures soon...

Status follow up

Nico can now successfully eat his own toes!

Also, he has sprouted two teeth over this last week and barely blinked an eye -- what a guy! And what a thankful mama.

Next step: real food!

Quick status update

At 5.5 months, Nico is just over 18 pounds and hitting the 75th percentile in all categories. He began rolling over from back to belly this last week and is constantly, desperately trying to eat his own toes.

Welcome to the Hotel Caselli

We don't have mirrors on the ceiling or pink champagne on ice, but we've got kids' toys on the floor and a big jug of sauvignon blanc in the fridge. Couple that with a big guest room upstairs and you've got the perfect recipe for inviting guests galore!

In recent months we've hosted a slew of family members visiting to see new baby Nico, plus John's best bud Ted from Colorado, my dance friend from Bend, our old neighbors and their daughter from Bend (twice, I think), a friend from Alaska getting ready to move to Portland, my sister and nephew, and in our craziest hosting event to date, the entire Danilava-Smith clan moved in for several days when they moved to Portland from Alaska (two parents, three young daughters, and one non-English speaking Baba -- at least their cat stayed in a kitty motel!). It's been chaotic but all sorts of fun. I love that we're able to welcome so many of our loved ones into our home!

Besides all the hosting duties, Nico (aka Little Dude, Tank, Chuckles, Tiger, Milkshake) has suddenly gone from a newborn to practically half a year old! When did that happen? Oh right, over the last five months. We don't currently have an official weight, but as of his last checkup about two months ago, he was already almost 15 pounds -- that's half of his big sister's body weight!

The Little Dude is something else. He charms the socks right off of me. Nico began smiling very early and hasn't stopped. He loves seeing the faces of his favorite people, and is always ready to greet you with a lopsided grin and a chuckle. And boy oh boy, is he a boy! What a loud little kiddo. His current favored time for joyful yelling and squealing and grunting is between 5-6 a.m. Awesome.

He's trying so hard to roll over, and he is one strong guy. But he's got quite a bit of mass to heft around, so I don't expect a roll to be imminent. He's also got a faucet for a mouth, drooling more than any bib can keep up with. The first time I called him "Drool Bucket," Sofia promptly went and found a little bucket and held it under his chin :) The crazy gumming and chewing has commenced, so I'm sure teeth are pretty close around the corner.

Oh, am I one lucky mama. Each night I stand between the two doors of my sleeping kids' rooms and enjoy a silent little moment of awe at the family John and I have created. How can I love two kiddos any more? I treasure those little innocent moments, because I can see now how quickly they fade, and grow fewer and farther between. I see Sofia becoming independent, creating space between herself and Mama. I deal with her emerging temper and willfulness. I listen to the new phrases she picks up from her friends at school, and wonder what she experiences when I'm not there. I can't help but look ahead to the teenage years...

Back to the present, here a bunch of unordered photos posted in an attempt to catch up (Aug.-Oct.):

Sofia and Aidan at the Alaska Zoo during our Sept. visit:

Randomly bumping into my best college friend, Emily, at the Alaska Zoo:

Father and son, chillin:
Back at the zoo, Sofia bustin a sweet move:
First day of VBS for Sof!
This is what happens in the backseat when I'm not looking:
Sofia and her friends found an awesome dirt pile to play in while at the Soap Box Derby on Mt. Tabor (which was super duper fun):

Laughing guy!

Sof getting silly with Mommy's boots:

Sofia began her first ballet classes this summer:

Cannon Beach with Uncle Keith and Aunt Toni -- Sofia learned how to fly a kite!

She also completely encrusted herself in sand:





She is such a great cook. She serves me a glass of wine before she begins, and makes things like strawberry-vanilla-carrot soup.


Cannon Beach again -- we're getting better at building sand castles! I did the bulk of the construction with Nico in the Moby wrap, making it more impressive than it looks...

Back in Alaska, at Shawna and Jeff's beautiful Chickaloon wedding:

Sofia and Shiva:

Cousins Cody and Nico:

Glow stick and necklace party at Grandma O's:

Most of the dancer crowd at Shawna's wedding:
Back in Cannon Beach, family shot at our favorite place to eat, JP's. The family who ran it closed it down this season, sadly. The owner/chef/grandma was kind enough to hold Nico and take him on a tour of the restaurant while we ate!

Super fun trip to Sunriver with Vegas friends Micah, Lisa, Grace, Joey and Cheyenne:

Sofia's first day of preschool! So proud...

Loving the hammocks in Chickaloon:

Rare Jo/Johnny shot:

Nico in the Chariot:

Real men sit in pink Bumbos:

A gloriously hot day at Mirror Lake:


Sofia's first field trip! Lee's pumpkin patch:

Cousins!


Sofia helped me get my costuming ready for a photo shoot:

Mets fan at the pumpkin patch:

Hooray for trampolines!

Fabulous gene pool:

Hey. You talkin' to ME?

Halloween party at school for our Pink Flower Fairy (costume by Mom):